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The 80/20 Rule of Behavior: How Your Subconscious Runs the Show

Writer's picture: Kelly VipondKelly Vipond

Ever feel like you're on autopilot, reacting to situations without really thinking? Like you know you should do something differently, but you just…don't? You're not alone.


A significant portion of our daily actions, some experts say as much as 80%, stem from our subconscious mind. This means that the thoughts, feelings, and experiences lurking beneath the surface are often the driving force behind our behavior, influencing everything from our habits and reactions to our relationships and career choices

We often only acknowledge the "tip of the iceberg" when it comes to our minds. But the real power, the vast 80%, lies beneath the surface, in the realm of the subconscious.
We often only acknowledge the "tip of the iceberg" when it comes to our minds. But the real power, the vast 80%, lies beneath the surface, in the realm of the subconscious.

Think of your mind as an iceberg. The conscious mind, the tip you see above the water, represents your current awareness – the thoughts you're actively thinking right now. The much larger portion submerged beneath the surface is your subconscious mind. This is where your memories, beliefs, habits, emotions, and past experiences reside. It's a powerful force that shapes your perceptions and dictates how you respond to the world, often without you even realizing it.


So, what does this mean for you?

Understanding the 80/20 rule of behavior can be a game-changer. It explains why willpower alone often falls short when we try to make changes. You might consciously want to eat healthier, exercise regularly, or be more assertive, but if your subconscious mind holds onto limiting beliefs or ingrained patterns, it can feel like an uphill battle.


For example, if you grew up hearing that you're "not good enough," this belief might be stored in your subconscious. Even if you consciously know this isn't true, it can still influence your behavior, leading to self-sabotage, procrastination, or difficulty pursuing your goals.


The good news? You're not stuck with your subconscious programming.

While it's not always easy to access the subconscious directly, therapy can provide a safe and supportive space to explore these deeper layers of your mind. A therapist can help you:

  • Identify limiting beliefs: Uncover the negative or unhelpful thoughts that are holding you back.

  • Understand the roots of your behavior: Explore how past experiences may be influencing your present actions.

  • Develop self-awareness: Become more mindful of your thoughts, feelings, and reactions.

  • Rewrite your subconscious story:  Replace negative beliefs with positive and empowering ones.

  • Build your inner coach: Cultivate self-compassion and develop a kinder, more supportive inner dialogue.


From Inner Critic to Inner Coach:

Often, the subconscious is home to a harsh inner critic, constantly judging and criticizing our every move. This inner critic can make it difficult to take risks, pursue our dreams, or even just feel good about ourselves. Therapy can help you quiet the inner critic and cultivate a more compassionate "inner coach" – a voice that encourages you, supports you, and helps you learn and grow from your experiences.


Taking the Wheel:

While our subconscious plays a significant role in our lives, we're not simply puppets being controlled by unseen forces. By gaining awareness of our subconscious patterns, we can begin to take the wheel and steer our lives in the direction we want to go. Therapy can empower you to understand your subconscious, challenge limiting beliefs, and create a more fulfilling and authentic life. It's about moving from feeling like you're on autopilot to consciously creating the life you desire.


Are you ready to explore your subconscious and unleash your full potential?  Contact me today for a free consultation to discuss how therapy can help you rewrite your story and build a stronger, more confident you.

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